{"product_id":"funny-real-estate-agent-mug-i-need-a-cash-offer-with-no-conditions-realtor-closing-gift-sarcastic-broker-tote-bag-13x13-16x16-polyester-tote-bag","title":"Real Estate Agent\/Realtor Gift - \"I don't need a therapist; I need a cash offer with no conditions\" design- 13x13\/16x16\" Polyester Tote Bag","description":"\u003cp\u003eSkip the therapy session and go straight to the closing table. Whether you're navigating a bidding war or dealing with a buyer who just discovered a \"foundation issue\" (it’s just a crack, Brenda), this mug is the only support system you actually need.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDesigned specifically for the high-stakes world of real estate, this ceramic coffee mug features a minimalist vintage-style badge with a stack of cash, a house key, and the holy grail of every transaction: the \"SOLD\" tag. It’s the perfect desk accessory for \u003cstrong\u003eListing Agents, Brokers, Wholesalers, and Real Estate Investors\u003c\/strong\u003e who know that a clean, unconditional offer is better than any breathing exercise.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy This Mug Belongs in Your Escrow-Induced Fever Dream:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCareer-Specific Humor:\u003c\/strong\u003e Finally, merch for the career that survives on caffeine and commission checks.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Perfect Realtor Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e An ideal \u003cstrong\u003eClosing Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003eBrokerage Kick-off Present\u003c\/strong\u003e, or a \"congrats on surviving another open house\" treat for yourself.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHigh-Quality Ceramic:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features a crisp, minimalist design that won't fade, peel, or bleed—just like your commitment to that 6% commission.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/strong\u003e Because who has time to hand-wash dishes when there are contracts to sign and lockboxes to fumble with?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Durable 100% polyester body (200 g\/m²) that keeps shape and dries quickly\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Reinforced double-row stitching on handles for added strength\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Boxed corners for extra internal space and structure\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Non-woven laminated interior with cotton handle; five handle color options\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Available in three sizes with one large compartment; size tolerance ±0.75\" (1.9 cm)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Craftivate","offers":[{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ Black","offer_id":44271511011414,"sku":"31281481708300363212","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ Red","offer_id":44271511044182,"sku":"15608670181237517759","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ White","offer_id":44271511076950,"sku":"11243981959548176256","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ Beige","offer_id":44271511109718,"sku":"32223376840062920900","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ Navy","offer_id":44271511142486,"sku":"29449056955175449196","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ Black","offer_id":44271511175254,"sku":"24696956150383909070","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ Red","offer_id":44271511208022,"sku":"20094767620960830442","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ White","offer_id":44271511240790,"sku":"41861798602105682957","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ Beige","offer_id":44271511273558,"sku":"25093318713558203993","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ Navy","offer_id":44271511306326,"sku":"30708904110994083547","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0688\/4510\/9334\/files\/20260331000415-1f12c952-786a-67be-b5d0-daa478755e31.png?v=1778093844","url":"https:\/\/www.craftivate.ca\/en-us\/products\/funny-real-estate-agent-mug-i-need-a-cash-offer-with-no-conditions-realtor-closing-gift-sarcastic-broker-tote-bag-13x13-16x16-polyester-tote-bag","provider":"Craftivate","version":"1.0","type":"link"}